Detroit = Hardbody WTF?!?

Detroit, the world's most hardbody city is going through one of their worst summers evar. The Pistons suck, the Tigers suck and the Lions are about to be a shit turd of a football team. Plus the mayor is going to jail for effing broads and the best job you can have in Detroit right now is collecting random dead bodies for the morgue. But if we could trade Detroit to Canada for say a faggy city like Montreal then maybe the deal might work itself out. Detroit will give Canada what it sorely lacks; street credibility vis e vis random senseless homicides and crime. It's not like the U.S. needs Montreal anyhoo since we already have asshat havens like Boston and San Francisco, but we'll put that town on our backup roster just in case we lose San Fran to an earthquake or Boston implodes due to its collective stupidity (Aqua Teen Hunger Force scare anyone?) Hell, to sweeten the deal we will throw in the entire state of Ohio.